When He Doesn’t Give Us The Script

{This post has been written to connect with the weekly prompt over on Velvet Ashes.

I love stories. I’m pretty sure I always have. I’m convinced that we are story-people, that storying was intentional when God created us. I love how infinite God uses stories so often to meet us in our feeble-mindedness and teach us big lessons about Himself and about the Gospel. I love that I can trust my life, my story, to the Master Story-teller and trust that He will write something beautiful.

But . . . there are days. There are days when it doesn’t quite all make sense to me. There are days when it seems like I’m to move on to the next page, but the next page just isn’t there. Or my line is up, but my script is gone. Obviously, none of us have a script to life. I’m sure we all have days where we desperately wish we did, or we could at least get the storyboarded concept God’s going for. But in His grace, He asks us to trust Him.

story

I’ve been thinking about this this week, about not having the script. What if I say the wrong lines? What about when the story is going in a direction that doesn’t seem to make sense? What about when what I believe about God or the Gospel doesn’t seem to align with what’s happening in my story?

I was frustrated with a cross-cultural situation this week in which I felt I was stepping out into what God would have wanted from me, how He would have wanted me to act in light of the Gospel, but it was misread and rather than adorning the Gospel, I ended up sending confused and confusing messages. Part of me was upset. ‘God! I thought you were trying to stretch me in these areas You’ve recently pointed out! I was trying! Now, I only feel like I’ve failed You. I wish I would have had the script.’

I’ve been challenged through this situation in two areas:

  1. The story is not primarily about me. Looking back, yes . . . I was trying to step out in areas that have recently needed attention: loving the people I came to serve, not being reserved or shy, stepping out and being friendly, being bold in who I am here. But, the fact that I was thinking through the scenario in light of what had done and how had improved shows that I’d forgotten who the real Hero of the story is. I am here and being pushed out of my introverted shell only because of Jesus. He compels me, and when I start focusing on myself and making myself the central character, it’s not surprising that I lose sight of the plot.
  2. The script may not be what I’d expect, but I don’t have to edit it. I remember in high school struggling with people accusing me of things that I hadn’t done, and wanting to lash out or push back because “well, won’t that paint a bad image of Christians? If they are talking about me like that when I didn’t actually do it?” I had a wise friend remind me then of I Peter 2:22-23:

He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Even Christ did not feel the need to defend Himself, though He had done no wrong. Rather, He trusted that God knew what He was doing and that He would take care of it. I might have left the other day with an assumption made about me that I would never want anyone to think was true about someone who loved the Gospel, but you know what? I’m going to trust that God knew what He was doing. I may be the only chance some of these people have to see Christ, and so it is important that I take that seriously, but I am human and people are human and I am never going to perfectly represent Christ and the Gospel. But that’s okay. Because God is God with or without me. My mistakes do not limit Him, nor do my fumbles discredit Him.

If you ask me, the story He’s been writing with the world has been pretty amazing thus far, and I’m going to do my best to leave my own story in His hands. Who I am to question the Author?

Comments

  1. Pingback: Lifecap: October!! | just footnotes

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *